We used to have meetings with parents of our Balmandir children. There would be a meeting with the mothers, and there would be one for the fathers. We used to begin by telling them that children were a precious gift from God, and it was our responsibility to care for them. Because we love them dearly, their well-being should be uppermost in our mind. We will not be doing them good by beating them, cursing at them, scolding them, or considering them as inferior. By our doing these things a child will become insolent. We will regret this later. Having told them this I would give them suggestions on how they could handle the children. The mothers used to listen and also share their difficulties, and I used to try and guide them. They used to say “It is easy to advise us but difficult to practise. No one likes to beat children; but when they are very troublesome, what else can we do?”

Gradually my talks with them started having some effect. The children were spared physical punishment, but occasionally a child would come and tell me that he had been beaten by his mother. I would write a note requesting her not to do so and she would be embarrassed. When they met me they would say that ‘you can manage so many children, we find it very difficult.’

In my talks I would talk about many things—that children should wear clean clothes; what kind of tasks they could be given at home, why they should not be left to roam in the street, and much more. There was a lot of preaching in the talks, but the mothers would listen, and try to apply the suggestions.

In case of the fathers I would try to explain the principles: Why this school was considered different, what were its key components and how they were beneficial. I had to stress that ultimately the children here would study, and that they would study by themselves which meant that they would really learn, learn for good, and would be able to apply what they had learned.

The mothers have faith and they follow with love; they face their challenges based on this. The fathers try to follow intellectually, they discuss rather than act; their confusions do not get easily resolved. But a home is made up of father and mother. Without the support and clear understanding of the father, a mother’s task cannot be completed. On the contrary, in case of a tussle between the two, everything is counterproductive. A child can grow only in an environment where both parents share a similar point of view. I needed the help of both parents, and I did get that. I used to get my talks printed and would give these to parents.